Featured Interview
The Red Skull Legion

Interviewing a band of pirates isn't something one can plan. Pirates in general are difficult to corner for conversation, and the idea of meeting at a designated time and place simply smells of a set up to these wily profiteers of the air. But if common sense makes it difficult, luck can still make it possible. Such was my luck to be in a certain Chicago bar (dive, really) when the infamous Red Skull Legion swaggered in and started a celebration of no small proportions.

For several weeks, rumors about Kahn's troubles with certain major crime figures have swirled through the I.S.A. These rumors were fueled by a recent $10,000 bounty placed on the group by the Empire State (and mysteriously withdrawn shortly thereafter). So, when the Red Skulls marched into this seedy dive on Chicago's dangerous South Side, their boisterous mood begged for a few questions.

I waited for the proper moment (after more than a few drinks had been downed by the rowdy pilots) and approached them hat in hand. Good news begs to be shared, and judging by the flow of liquor, I wagered that the Red Skulls had a good story to tell. I wasn't disappointed.

First among the revelers was "Hettyhawk" Corbett, the wingman of Jonathan "Genghis" Kahn himself. She was joined at her table by pilots Pete O'Neil and Amos Jones. O'Neil, a rail-thin fellow with slicked back hair, had a mousy sort of voice. Jones, without a doubt the largest man I have ever met, had a deep and solid tone that made you notice, no matter what he said.

Warriors of the Air: "Say, what's the occasion?"

Hettyhawk Corbett: (grinning to her companions) "What's not to like? It's Chicago."

WotA: "This seems like more than a homecoming."

Hetty: "(I seem to have crossed her limit of one question per customer with this one) What's it to you, pal?"

WotA: "Just curious..."

(At this point I found myself kissing the wall, thanks to Hetty and her companions. I never talked so fast in my life. Lucky for me they weren't in the mood to do any killing just then. Buying them a few drinks didn't hurt either.)

Hetty: (taking her seat again) "So, why's a reporter interested in us?"

Pete O'Neil: "Is that Hawai'i story already going around?"

WotA: "What happened in Hawai'i?"

Pete O'Neil: "Only the biggest—"

Hetty: "Nothing. We got a tan. And Pete apparently got his brain fried."

WotA: "How about events out east? The reward on the Red Skulls was lifted—does this mean your trouble with the Empire State have been cleared up?"

Pete O'Neil: "Are you kidding? Did you see the picture of La Guardia in the paper after he took the reward off us? He looked like he swallowed a bug!"

WotA: "Any hint how Kahn pulled that one off?"

Hetty: "That's 'Mr. Kahn' to you, wise guy. La Guardia's got nothing on the Boss for smarts. He always comes out on top—that's why we all fly with him."

WotA: "What about the rumors that...Mr. Kahn has been working for the British government?"

(At this, Pete O'Neil fell off his chair laughing, and had to be recovered by his mates. After placing O'Neil back on his seat, Amos Jones gave me a steely stare.)

Amos: "The Boss don't work for anyone else. The Red Skulls do what we want."

WotA: "Didn't mean to offend, Mr. Jones."

Hetty: "He didn't mean anything, Amos. I think it's kind of funny. All those British high hats with their self-righteous hooey. Sir this and Sir that. Pthew! Look who they ask when some real work needs doing."

WotA: How about a more general question: What makes the Red Skulls stick together, when so many other pirate crews go their separate ways or kill each other?"

Hetty: "That's the Boss. He's smarter in a fight than anyone, one on one or anything else, and he takes care of his crew. We'd fly to Hell for him. In fact, we just got back from there. You write anything bad about him and I'll cram that pencil down your throat."

(At this point the saloon erupted in hoots and shouts as Jonathan "Genghis" Kahn strode into the place. He lives up to every shred of his reputation. The room seemed to become a more dangerous place as soon as he walked in. The first thing I noticed was the sling holding the pirate boss's right arm. The second thing was the lady holding the other, wearing an outfit best not described, lest I distract the reader from the point at hand (as I certainly was). As Kahn approached, his gaze was on me like ice. He told his escort to take a powder while he regarded me.)

Jonathan "Genghis" Kahn: "Who's this?"

(After a brief explanation, Kahn regarded me again, and within a moment seemed to be weighing all the factors at hand. His decision came instantly, and fortunately for me, it didn't involve violence.)

Kahn: "Yeah, okay, I'm game for an interview. The world deserves to know about the Red Skull Legion...and why they had best stay out of our way."

(One of the Skulls brought Kahn a drink as he raised a cigar to his lips. Hetty's hand flashed to his aid with a flame, saving him the trouble of lighting it with his bum arm.)

WotA: "Full service wingman?"

Kahn: "Hetty is the absolute best wingman on this stinking continent. You'd better print that."

WotA: "You bet. Hetty was telling me you've had a rough few weeks."

Hetty: "I told him we've been through Hell."

Kahn: "That part's right for sure. A few of the boys even made that trip for real."

WotA: "How'd you get the busted wing?"

Kahn: "I jumped out of a plane without a parachute. Next question."

WotA: "Scuttlebutt places you everywhere from the Empire State to Hawai'i recently. What's the real scoop?"

Kahn: "We get around. The Red Skulls are known from coast to coast as the toughest outfit in the sky, so we have to keep on the move to show our colors and make sure nobody gets any funny ideas."

WotA: "What about you and the Black Swan?"

Kahn: "Well...I don't want to make the lady sore by talking about our dates, so I'll just say she's an all-around doll and leave it at that."

WotA: "So you have dated."

Kahn: "Like I said, The Swan's feelings for me are strictly off the record."

WotA: "Okay, how about the big question: Why piracy?"

O'Neil: "Yeah didn't your mommy tell ya that stealin's wrong, Boss?"

(Hetty shoved O'Neil off his chair again and went to the floor to show him a thing or two with her fists. Kahn seemed not to notice the ruckus.)

Kahn: "Pirates are like a force of nature, culling the weak from the rest of the herd. It's not my fault the world is so full of spineless, cowardly and stupid people...but if I can profit from it, so be it. Flying into gunfire for a measly paycheck from a politician or some corporate schmooze? That's for saps like Loyle Crawford—the guy who goes back to an outfit that tried to put him away in a frame up."

Hetty: (coming back to the table) "Piracy ain't for a milquetoast like Crawford. He'd have to work for a living instead of sponging a paycheck for getting his picture taken."

(Kahn sat back and rubbed his bum wing, wincing a bit. I think he was really here more for his crew than himself¾putting that arm on ice might have been more to his liking. The dish he walked in with also sauntered back over, beating me out for his attention.)

Kahn: "That's enough of this. Scram, pencilneck."

And I did.
You would too.

—Irving "Hatchet" Hall